Hey everybody and welcome back to Thriving Scribes TV. I'm Brit Poe and today I'm going to be talking about overcoming the comparison trap as an author.
So last week I uploaded a video all about the dark side of comparison. If you haven't watched that yet, then I encourage you to hop on over so that you can know what comparison can do to your author's journey and why it's a bad thing versus a good thing. Today I'm going to be sharing some tips that you can use to actually overcome the comparison trap if it's something that you're struggling with your self. Last week I did mention my 5- Day Fear Detox and I just wanted to mention it again today. If fear is something that any of you guys are actually struggling with and would like some support and some prompts to help you work through that and break down that fear. So if that's something that you really would like to do for yourself then you can go join the Thriving Scribe Tribe and you'll find it right there inside of the free resource library.
2020 Update: The 5-Day Fear Detox has been discontinued. But there are more goodies for you to explore inside the resource library.
So let's get right to these tips to help you overcome the comparison trap. Now, some of these things may work for you and sometimes a combination of these different tips may work for you as well to finally help you get over the comparison trap, so just keep in mind that if one thing isn't really working for you, then maybe you should try another one of these tactics or combine them together in order to help see it through.
Turn Down The Noise
My first and biggest tip is just to turn down the noise. This seems a little counterintuitive coming from me, I know. I'm all about reading and learning and connecting as much as possible, but if you're somebody who struggles with comparison then having a constant flow of content - an IV drip of somebody else's life and success may be detrimental to your success rather than enabling it. For example, if you are following a ton of your favorite authors and creators over on Instagram and you spend so much of your time scrolling through and seeing all of the amazing things that they're doing, all of the amazing books that they're writing or services that they're providing, and then you find yourself looking back at where you're at in your own journey and feeling bad or less than or lacking. Then maybe it's time to hit the little unsubscribe / unfollow button. Because if it's just causing more of a distraction and disconnect from your own goals and your own writing journey, then I don't see the benefits of following these people.
My next tip is to seek reinforcement and build a tribe of your own. So this can be kind of hard when you're first starting out. I know for me, when I was first getting into the writing scene that it felt like the entire Internet was this huge, vast open sea and I had no idea how to connect with anybody. But I also found that once I was able to sort of find my tribe and make connections and make friends in the community who not only I looked up to, but who also supported me back, that it really, really dulled my need for comparison. Because, instead of just simply following these people and admiring them and then feeling bad about myself, I was actually included in a community of people who all supported each other and build each other up, and so if you can find your tribe and you can find these people who are just as supportive of you as you are of them, then I think that that is one really awesome step to combating comparison.
My next tip is to walk away. Really just walk away from whatever project you are currently working on. If you are in that state of mind where you're not feeling great about what you're doing because of comparison - so when this happens, what I suggest doing is literally just dropping everything, turn off your phone, turn off your computer and go take the break that you need in order to work through whatever it is you need to. Because if you are still trying to work through it or if you're still constantly adding new things to your plate and you're not giving yourself that time to work through these negative thoughts associated with comparison, then you're not really helping yourself succeed.
My next tip is to reflect on your own growth. Look at what you have already done and tell yourself and remind yourself how awesome that is. Even if it's not the same thing that other people are doing. I want you to zero in on you. Look at your own successes. Look at your own growth and remind yourself and celebrate that all over again because you started somewhere and I bet that it's not where you are now. So if you're able to look back on that journey and remind yourself of how far you've come, that's another really great way to combat those negative thoughts associated with comparison.
Just Do The Work
If all else fails, my last and final tip to beating the comparison trap is to just do your work. This is when nothing else is happening. You really can't beat it through your own mindset work. You're still struggling with finding the people who can support you and really just need to sit down and do the work that you have been procrastinating because you're comparing yourself to somebody else. So turn off everything,sit down, and actually write. Write what you were wanting to write in the first place without worrying about what somebody else is doing, without worrying about what anybody else is thinking about it, and just do the work. Sometimes that's really what you might need to prove to yourself that these negative thoughts that you're having about yourself are wrong because you know what? There's always going to be somebody out there who can write more words than you can or has more followers than you do or has more books published than you do or whatever else you consider to be important. So you're going to have to deal with this no matter what, but the truth is there's only one you. There's only one person who can live your truth and who can do your journey. So always, always be the best version of you that you possibly can because there is nobody else who can live your life. I'm always rooting for you!